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| The Devil won't be there today. He harassed Sweden's family so he's banned from the house. I know my boyfriend was worried so it's good he won't be there.
But sadly I'm a little disappointed at the same time. | | |
| I'm up in my old hometown right now. I'm going to a party tomorrow at Sweden's house. Guess who could easily be there? The Devil. At least I could probably avoid him even more so this time since Sweden invited a ton of girls. Plus, maybe he won't be there. I just know he's on his spring break right now because I checked his school's website a few minutes ago. Why am I so pathetic? | | |
| I know it's been a long time since I updated. I don't know why I stopped updating for a while. I wanted to keep up with this. I still do.
The reason why I'm writing currently? That one night is haunting me again. I hate how The Devil is still affecting me.
No worries, I'm still with my boyfriend. I'm very happy with him. But without seeing someone to deal with how The Devil was to me, I feel I may never get over this. I've been pretty good but still, it's there... | | |
| I'm sorry for the lack of an update the past two weeks. I just didn't really know what or how to write to you.
I went to my first class of college on Tuesday, August 23rd. I was so nervous for no reason whatsoever! It was incredibly boring but thankfully it was only an hour long class instead of the three hours the paper said it would be. I started my other classes too & ended up just dropping a class I added to get my financial aid & adding the other class I wanted (not the math class, I'm unsure if I'll actually end up doing that math class).
I had a freak out a few days ago over nothing (it triggered because of H). It was dumb & I really have no clue why I was crying besides the fact I didn't want to lose him (there wasn't even a remote showing that he was going to break up with me anytime soon). Our nine month is tomorrow which I am excited about! I can't believe it's been nine months...
Otherwise, I'm just counting down the days until I move. | | |
| To start this off let me just say: ONE MORE MONTH UNTIL I AM MOVED INTO MY NEW PLACE!
Though there are some problems: I got a call a couple days ago from a lady that works at the apartments saying I would need a co-signer. Problem is, no one in my family could sign for me. They have shitty ass credit. Hopefully my financial aid will be enough "credit" to prove I'm good otherwise we're going to have to put more of a down payment or have H's dad co-sign, which I am very grateful for.
H & I also are doing well, besides some minor things we always work out. I'm so happy that we're together & I don't want that to change. It's scary thinking about the future but I know things will work out with us. Or so I really hope...
My first college class starts on Tuesday & I'm scared to fucking death. I DON'T WANT TO MESS UP! I'm sure my anxiety is just making everything seem worse but who knows, maybe I'll be the dumbest person in the class. D:
The last part of this pathetic rant is the dream I had last night. It seemed to real. Guess who was there? The Devil. What was so real was that I was talking to him on the phone. He couldn't even recognize that it was me. In my non-dreaming head, I kept on asking why we were talking on the phone. He made me stay on hold for what seemed like forever, saying that he didn't care if he lost me. It made me upset but I needed to ask him a favor. He wouldn't do it. I was stuck. I was alone... That's how I felt with him, always. | | |
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